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What if she met him for drinks and dinner after work. When they finished dinner they'd go back to our house. Jeanne would suck his cock and then he'd fuck her. I sat down on my bed and buried my face in my hands. I couldn't do this. Sharing Jeanne with other men was difficult, but it wasn't an insurmountable problem. I was reasonably certain that given enough time I could learn to accept and maybe even enjoy her affairs. Hearing her talking about doing things for other men that she'd always refused to do for me was the real obstacle. It tore me apart. It was unbearable. Still, I didn't want to lose Jeanne. She was the mother of my children and the love of my life. Living without her was unthinkable. I had to find the strength to get through this. I pulled myself together and stood up. I could do it, I had to do it and I knew how to do it. I had to begin by calling Jeanne. Communication was the answer, but we had to establish some ground rules. We needed to find a way to talk about. The world loved me enough to give me three divorces and hated me enough for four marriages, every single one of them a mockery of meaningless words. I've learned to shun people; I think my long-nosed secretary is afraid of me, her white skin trembles as she hands me the black envelope, and I take it in my black hands and hand her the white cup of tea, which she takes away, closing the door behind her softly.Another day of sifting through files later, my car drops me at the park. I walk through children laughing and playing, sliding down the huge whirl-slide and splashing down in the water, throwing mud at each other, some crying as they fall down and cut something, others laughing at the crying. I find a noisy spot to sit down and soak in the sounds around me -"Now, Jill, how many times I've told you not to play in the water, you're going to ruin..." Jacob! Come back here! Damn that boy, can't remain still for one damn moment. Jacob!" That's mine I found it." But I saw it first!" But.
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